Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Ah ha!


So I've had somewhat of a revelation in the last few days.

I really struggle with my little boy's need for lots of nursing and physical contact, and had always put this down to my extreme introversion.  I read a suggestion last week, that this kind of response could be related to Asperger's Syndrome and Sensory Processing Disorder.  Hmmm.  Well, I knew I didn't have Asperger's.  Sure, I'm socially awkward, but I have empathy, I don't stim, I can't recite the entire 6 episodes of the Star Wars saga forwards backwards and sideways.  But the sensory stuff...the more I read, the more things started to resonate for me.  I can't bear the TV volume too high.  I find loud talking really stressful to listen to.  I get easily overwhelmed by auditory input from lots of different sources, e.g social gatherings.  I have hideous balance.  Bright, especially fluorescent lights really disturb me.  In fact I once left a summer job largely because the fluorescent lights were stressing me so much.  Of course, I made a socially acceptable excuse.  After all, how I could I say that I was leaving the job because I didn't like the lighting?  Crazy, right?  So perhaps there was something in the sensory stuff after all.

It was only a couple of days ago, but I don't even remember now how I came across this description of Asperger's traits in women, but reading it was like a million lightbulbs turning on.  This is me.  Hmmm, probably just Interns' Syndrome or the Barnum Effect, right?  I handed the table to my husband to have a look at.  'Yeah, that's you', he replied matter of factly.  And I got a chill.  Yes.  So much made sense.  Why have I always felt so different?  Why are so many things that 'should' be easy so bloody difficult for me?  Why can't a person of my intelligence hold down a normal job?  Why had I never had a long term relationship until I met my husband at the age of 27?  Why is friendship such an opaque process to me?  Why, even when I've recovered from my numerous bouts of depression can I still not function like I'm supposed to?

Perhaps I've not been able to be normal not because I don't try hard enough, or that I'm pathetic, but just because my brain works differently.  Not worse, not defectively, but differently from most other people.  I am convinced I have Asperger's.  And, perhaps oddly, I feel liberated.

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